I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
