i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she smelled like a LAN party
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
