I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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