Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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