hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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