He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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