You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
