just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
