I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
