the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize