he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
