we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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