have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize