I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize