maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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