True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
