sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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