Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
