i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Of course I have a pirate flag
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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