I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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