I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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