I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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