I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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