I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
