; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
