The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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