I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
