I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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