Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
