is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
