And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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