I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
