Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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