The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Blood and glitter go together right?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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