My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
