Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
