I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
