Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
