If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
