he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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