If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
