I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize