That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
