yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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