You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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