Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
