Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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