Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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