Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
