Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
