I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
