I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so let's talk penis.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
