Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
