i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
