he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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