Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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