The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"