If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize