she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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