Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

We won't sleep together?

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(313): View more from Michigan

sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test

(1-313): View more from Michigan

but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I know she was great

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(914): View more from New York

yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"

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(+45): View more from Denmark

You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?

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(512): View more from Texas

She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.

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