they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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