Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.