why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY