Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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