Yo dont text me then not text me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
