oh god the rape fog is back!
well you can't waste a boner
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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