i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
