Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
