Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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