Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Are we still banned from the library?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
