I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
